By Andrea
Isn't it amazing how the things we take in through our eyes have a tendency to stick in our brains, somewhere in subconscious la-la land?
Before I came to know Christ, well...even after that, I would watch horrific things on the television and in movies and look at grotesque things on the internet. In some weird way it pleased my flesh. I liked the gore and the violence and the sick twisted movies. Who knows, maybe it made me feel better about my life or the high from the adrenaline rush appeased my dark side, feeding it and fueling it for darkness....I started watching horror movies when I was 7 years old and stopped watching them about a year and a half ago....about 20 years worth of that stuff has been imprinted on my brain...our brains remember EVERYTHING, even if we can't consciously remember something.
Before I was personally convicted of letting those kinds of things into my soul, my husband would not watch such things with me. He is very affected by the things he lets into his spirit through his eyes, admittedly. I would tell him, "I'm not affected by things like that" and "I could look at this and go to bed and dream about puppies". That was true, I would, that very same night! That is what the enemy wanted me to think and how my flesh rationalized watching evil.
Today, and for years really, I have struggled with nightmares but never made a correlation between what my eyes/soul seen and the recurring nightmares of tragedy and torture being imposed upon me. Oddly enough, but maybe not odd at all-maybe just the works of a spiritual enemy, I would never have those night terrors directly after watching what I watched. King of trickery and demon of deceit, that's what we are up against.
It dawned on me, just the other day, after awaking from yet another night of being chased by serial killer and backed into a corner;ready to be slaughtered, that that 20 some years of watching scary movies and reading books about serial killers invited evil into my mind, into my very soul....stamping my subconscious with a cloud of darkness.
BUT, Praise God because He is our Victor, our Healer and Deliverer and He alone is renewing this mind that I have tainted. He protects me from the fear the enemy is trying to create in my soul. Thank you, Jesus! I may be backed into a corner in dreamland, but this girl will not be backed into a corner by any demonic force in reality because He is with me and through Him I will be victorious over evil and laugh in the face of our spiritual enemies.
My whole point of writing this is just to share what I have learned about the sensitivity of our spirits, the sensitivity of my own spirit. To think, I once thought that "I'm not affected by those kind of things"....oh how foolish of me to say. I pray that the Lord continues to renew this tainted soul of mine and I pray that the Lord renews your mind from anything that you may have seen intentionally or unintentionally!
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will". Romans 12:1-2
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